Relationships

Relationships

  

I’m in a relationship and have been for a long time.  Although, she’s only become aware of it quite recently.   We met at marching band practice.  We kept the instruments we were using as they had become the enduring cymbals of our love.

I don’t think that I get enough credit for what I contribute to the relationship.  Sure, she works, and cleans and cooks.  But what about the extensive research I’ve conducted over the years into new and exciting ways to combine cheese and pork products. 

So, relationships are hard work.  And you have to learn from your mistakes.  I can tell you that I’ve said the wrong thing to women at the wrong time.  For example just as the two of you are drifting off and you’re spooning together don’t whisper the words, “You’re so butch.”  Not a good idea.  No woman wants to hear that.

It’s odd – sometimes I’ll talk to people that have no understanding about relationships and how to make them work.  My girlfriend will be away - and someone will ask if I’ve been doing anything fun.    Well the answer always has to be no. 

There might be fun things that I can do, but the relationship contract always gives your companion the first right of fun refusal.  That means I can’t do anything fun on my own, until she says that she doesn’t want to do it with me.  That way there’s never any danger of me having more fun on my own, than with my sweetie.

And all of that is quite understandable.  I know that if my sweetie ever came home and said she had the best time at the strip club doing body shots off the shooter girl all nite – I would have liked the option of coming along.

Now, none of this advice may work for you but, let me just distill it down into one easy to carry around maxim:  Have fun, but never admit to having fun on your own.